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8
Easy Tips for Crucial Conversations
American�s fear of medical
errors is justified. Now the eighth leading cause of death in the
Approximately 7,000 deaths
each year are attributed to medication errors. In fact, medication-related error
is one of the most common types of error, and of primary concern to nurses who
administer medications, as well as to the practitioner who prescribes medications
and the pharmacist who dispenses them.
�Why is
it that 98,000 hospital deaths each year stem from human error,� asks
Joseph Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations,
Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. �In part because many health care
professionals are afraid to speak their minds,� he asserts.
The Joint Commission Report
on National Patient Safety says that surgical accidents can be prevented with
active communication.
Not all hospitals adhere to
this policy, but many are making strides to improve patient safety. �We have
known for years that the ability to handle crucial conversations well determines
an organization�s performance, efficiency and the quality of its products,�
Grenny said. �Now, we have hard evidence these same
skills may make the difference between being healed and being seriously hurt
when you visit your local hospital.�
Grenny and team spent 25 years studying the
nation�s most effective communicators; the culmination of their research pinpoints
the skills needed to master high stakes interactions and is embodied in Crucial
Conversations.
If you�re like most people,
scarcely a day passes that you don�t face a difficult conversation. You know
the type�stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions run strong. Below are eight
tips extracted from the best-seller Crucial Conversations designed to
turn crucial conversations into experiences that produce strong results and
build relationships.
1. When do I need a crucial
conversation?
Anytime you�re stuck �
when a professional or personal relationship goes into a rut, or you�re having
trouble achieving results in your team or organization � ask �What conversations
are we not facing or not facing well that are keeping us stuck?� A Crucial
Conversation will help both parties break through to new levels of under-standing
and commitment.
2. How do I stay focused
during a crucial conversation?
Before entering your crucial
conversation, ask �What do I really want for me? What do I really want
for others? What do I really want for the relationship?� The
clearer you are about your goals, the less you�ll be controlled by your fears.
3. How do I catch warning
signs of trouble before it�s too late?
When others move to silence
(withdrawing, masking, avoiding) or violence (controlling, labeling, verbal
attacking), these are signs that others don�t feel safe. Learn to look for silence
or violence � signs that safety is at risk. When crucial conversations turn
ugly, the problem is not too much candor, it�s too little safety. With enough
safety, you can talk about anything.
4. How do I make it safe
to talk about anything?
People don�t get defensive
because of the content of what you�re saying. They get defensive because
of the intent they perceive behind it. When others become defensive,
stop talking about the issue and clarify your purpose. Help them understand
your motives by sharing what you really want out of this conversation for you,
for them and for the relationship (See #2).
5. How can I master my
emotions?
Master your emotions by
getting to their root. We make ourselves upset during crucial conversations
when we 1.) cover up or ignore our role in creating
the problems we�re discussing and 2.) exaggerate others�
role in the problems by attributing the worst possible motive to them. Ask
yourself 1.) What am I pretending not to know about my role? and
2.) Why would a reasonable, rational and decent person do what the other person
is doing?
6. How can I be persuasive
but not abrasive?
Start with the facts. Instead
of launching with your emotions, begin by sharing the facts. Describe the concrete
and objective experiences (what others said or did�not what you think
about what they said or did) that created your concerns. For example, start
with, �In the meeting you referred to the proposal as �My idea.�� Don�t start
with �You back-stabbing jerk, you took complete credit for our proposal in there!�
When you start with your facts, you help others see how a reasonable, rational
and decent person would think and feel as you do. When they come to this realization,
it is harder for them to become defensive at even the most controversial things
you have to say.
7. How can I explore others�
views?
The easiest
way to reduce defensiveness? LISTENING. Spend as much
time exploring how others see the issues as you spend sharing your own. Exploring
means that you are genuinely curious about others� views. Your goal is not
necessarily to agree with them, but instead to discover how a reasonable, rational
and decent person would think and feel as they do. The more curious you become,
the safer others will feel and the less likely you are to get hooked by
what they say.
8. How can I end it well?
End with clear expectations. Don�t be satisfied with just good talk. Move to action by ensuring everyone is crystal clear about how to get the issue resolved once and for all. Come to specific agreement about who is going to do what by when. Then agree when you�ll follow up to see that you and others have kept these commitments. Clear agreements and disciplined accountability turn great conversations into great results.
Southam Consulting & Vital Smarts |
|
Southam Consulting has partnered with Vital Smarts to provide the following tools and resources to get you headed in the right direction. |
Facing a Crucial Conversation? Don't know how to start? Contact Southam Consulting.
� Southam Consulting, LLC, 2004