8
Easy Tips for Crucial Conversations
American�s
fear of medical errors is justified. Now the eighth leading cause
of death in the United States, medical error ranks higher than
car accidents (43,458), breast cancer (42,297) or AIDS (16,516),
as reported by the Institute
of Medicine in its 220-page report To Err
is Human: Building a Safer Health System.
Approximately
7,000 deaths each year are attributed to medication errors. In fact,
medication-related error is one of the most common types of error,
and of primary concern to nurses who administer medications, as
well as to the practitioner who prescribes medications and the pharmacist
who dispenses them.
�Why
is it that 98,000 hospital deaths each
year stem from human error,� asks Joseph Grenny,
co-author of Crucial Conversations, Tools for Talking When Stakes
Are High. �In part because many health care professionals are
afraid to speak their minds,� he asserts.
The
Joint Commission Report on National Patient Safety says that surgical
accidents can be prevented with active communication.
Not
all hospitals adhere to this policy, but many are making strides
to improve patient safety. �We have known for years that the ability
to handle crucial conversations well determines an organization�s
performance, efficiency and the quality of its products,� Grenny
said. �Now, we have hard evidence these same skills may make the
difference between being healed and being seriously hurt when you
visit your local hospital.�
Grenny and team spent 25 years studying the
nation�s most effective communicators; the culmination of their
research pinpoints the skills needed to master high stakes interactions
and is embodied in Crucial Conversations.
If
you�re like most people, scarcely a day passes that you don�t face
a difficult conversation. You know the type�stakes are high, opinions
vary and emotions run strong. Below are eight tips extracted from
the best-seller Crucial Conversations designed to turn crucial
conversations into experiences that produce strong results and build
relationships.
1. When do I need a crucial
conversation?
Anytime you�re stuck �
when a professional or personal relationship goes into a rut, or
you�re having trouble achieving results in your team or organization
� ask �What conversations are we not facing or not facing well that
are keeping us stuck?� A Crucial Conversation will help both
parties break through to new levels of under-standing and commitment.
2. How do I stay focused
during a crucial conversation?
Before entering your crucial
conversation, ask �What do I really want for me? What do
I really want for others? What do I really want for the relationship?�
The clearer you are about your goals, the less you�ll be controlled
by your fears.
3. How do I catch warning
signs of trouble before it�s too late?
When others move to silence
(withdrawing, masking, avoiding) or violence (controlling, labeling,
verbal attacking), these are signs that others don�t feel safe.
Learn to look for silence or violence � signs that safety is at
risk. When crucial conversations turn ugly, the problem is not
too much candor, it�s too little safety. With enough safety, you
can talk about anything.
4. How do I make it safe
to talk about anything?
People don�t get defensive
because of the content of what you�re saying. They get defensive
because of the intent they perceive behind it. When others
become defensive, stop talking about the issue and clarify
your purpose. Help them understand your motives by sharing what
you really want out of this conversation for you, for them and for
the relationship (See #2).
5. How can I master my
emotions?
Master your emotions by
getting to their root. We make ourselves upset during crucial conversations
when we 1.) cover up or ignore our role
in creating the problems we�re discussing and 2.) exaggerate
others� role in the problems by attributing the worst possible motive
to them. Ask yourself 1.) What am I pretending not to know about
my role? and 2.) Why would a reasonable,
rational and decent person do what the other person is doing?
6. How can I be persuasive
but not abrasive?
Start with the facts. Instead
of launching with your emotions, begin by sharing the facts. Describe
the concrete and objective experiences (what others said or did�not
what you think about what they said or did) that created
your concerns. For example, start with, �In the meeting you referred
to the proposal as �My idea.�� Don�t start with �You back-stabbing
jerk, you took complete credit for our proposal in there!� When
you start with your facts, you help others see how a reasonable,
rational and decent person would think and feel as you do. When
they come to this realization, it is harder for them to become defensive
at even the most controversial things you have to say.
7. How can I explore others�
views?
The easiest
way to reduce defensiveness? LISTENING. Spend as much
time exploring how others see the issues as you spend sharing your
own. Exploring means that you are genuinely curious about
others� views. Your goal is not necessarily to agree with them,
but instead to discover how a reasonable, rational and decent person
would think and feel as they do. The more curious you become,
the safer others will feel and the less likely you are to get hooked
by what they say.
8. How can I end it well?
End with clear expectations.
Don�t be satisfied with just good talk. Move to action by ensuring
everyone is crystal clear about how to get the issue resolved once
and for all. Come to specific agreement about who is going to do
what by when. Then agree when you�ll follow up to see that you and
others have kept these commitments. Clear agreements and disciplined
accountability turn great conversations into great results.
"8 Easy Tips for Crucial
Conversations" �
VitalSmarts, a Southam Consulting, LLC strategic
partner.
Southam
Consulting & Vital Smarts |
Southam
Consulting has partnered with Vital Smarts to provide the following
tools and resources to get you headed in the right direction.
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Facing a Crucial Conversation? Don't know how
to start? Contact Southam
Consulting. |